You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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