your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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