Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
