You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
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