I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
sarcasm needs its own font
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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