does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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