Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
