I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
