I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
