I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
