Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
