I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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