I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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