ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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