ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize