Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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