Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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