I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
