My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Houston, we have a squirter
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize