So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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