home. puking in laundry basket.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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