He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
