3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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