We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
