Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
