Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
You smell like stripper and shame
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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