I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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