Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
