corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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