ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Randomize
