The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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