dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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