dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
