girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
