I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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