Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
