I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
