I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
