she was so not down for the gang bang
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
