I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
