If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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