I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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