That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
