Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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