I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
