Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
