I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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