He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
