Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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