Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
