A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize