so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷ðŸ»â€â™€ï¸
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
