3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
