Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
