It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
