Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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