is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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