Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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