I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
