An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
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