porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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