there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
