Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
